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Sleepy Hollow’s Red-Hatted Women Defy and Celebrate Aging

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The Red Hatters at Sleepy Hollow’s River Grill. Back row (L to R): Mafalda Tornello, Josephine Galgano, Eleanor Hunt, Elaine Byrnes. Seated (L to R): Molly Helwig, Emma Serena, Irene Amato — Photo by: Krista Madsen

June 4, 2015

| by Krista Madsen |

Sleepy Hollow’s Mafalda Tornello, in her late 80s, fondly recalls the sweet, very walkable village she grew up in, when you could get everything you needed here and near – thread at Woolworth’s, three shoe shops, dress stores, and Beekman Avenue was loaded with mom-and-pops that “suited the times.”

She remembers when the embankment down to the GM plant was covered with roses and the kids who grew up in the lighthouse rowed to shore to get to school. And she remembers walking with her dad along Beekman, he in a three-piece suit and fedora, tipping his hat to neighbors sitting on porches, before there was TV or AC to pull everyone inside.

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Tornello, residing in the same Webber Park neighborhood where she’s spent most of her years, feels deeply connected to the many generations of residents here – after all, her maternal grandmother was a midwife who brought many of them into the world. As idyllic as she recalls her childhood – skating on Fremont Pond, kids playing on the pale yellow cobblestone of Cortlandt Street – she remembers her mother’s laments over the changing times.

“My mom used to complain that it had changed so much here, and now I can relate to what she was feeling,” Tornello said. “It’s so different, but I appreciate a lot of things today too.”

When community may be harder to come by, she has created her own.

Every so now and again when you pass the River Grill at the end of Beekman, a bouquet of brightly attired ladies might catch your eye. A merry band of senior women don vibrant purple and red once a month to go on a field trip or just enjoy a local meal together, and, always, reminisce about old times.

Each “girl,” as they call themselves, takes turns choosing the itinerary – whether it’s lunch, like on this day, or going further afield. They’ve taken a cruise up the Hudson, taken the ferry crossing from Bridgeport to Port Jefferson, Long Island, navigated city subways to the theater.

Tornello, fondly called the “Queen Mother,” was inspired to form a local chapter of the group she discovered online, the Red Hat Society, an international organization for women. Those younger than 50 wear lavender and pink, those older wear purple and red.

“Because you don’t get to wear red and purple together otherwise,” joked local member Molly Helwig.

Emma Serena said, “It’s just a bunch of old ladies having a good time,” although some of this crew might object to being called old. There’s nine total – seven here today – representing a range of ages from late-70s to mid-80s.

“I don’t even think of age really, we’re all people, it doesn’t matter how old we are, we can all learn from each other,” Tornello said. “Age only matters if you’re a wine or cheese. When we get together we’re all the same.”

The women call themselves the Red Hatters and behave like those long-married, completing each other sentences, gently bickering with the ease of having known each other most of their lives.

“We’re all born and raised here, all went to Morse when it was the high school. We are all Sleepy Hollow seniors – except one Tarrytown,” said Josephine Galgano, president of the Sleepy Hollow Seniors.

Irene Amato worked as secretary under the original W.L. Morse, and then spent 60 years working for the village, all while raising three girls. Surrounded by these great female friends, she proudly displays the red hats printed on her shirt and purse, and red plumes in her hair.

“We have a whole wardrobe of hats,” Tornello said. And scarves, jackets, flowers.

None of the group were stay-at-home moms; they all had careers, from being VP of Mahopac Bank to working for companies long gone: Duracell and GM. They remember living in a car-making town when people only had one car per family and didn’t drive as often.

Their local branch started in 2003 with 12 women, and it worked out nicely that each member had a monthly gathering to plan. But they’ve lost a few along the way – one died this year, one dropped out, and one moved upstate. They used to be a little more active, but now they find themselves staying closer to home, and enjoying being able to hear each other better around a smaller restaurant table.

“We’ve had a lot of fun,” said Amato, crossing herself when she realizes they’ve been at this for over a decade. “We enjoy reminiscing about the village we all grew up in.”

The international organization began in 1991 when Sue Ellen Cooper, of California, purchased a red fedora for a friend. She gave it to her along with the beginning of a poem by Jenny Joseph called “Warning.” “When I am an old woman I shall wear purple / With a red hat that doesn’t go and doesn’t suit me. She gave the gift to a few other friends who eventually got together in their finery for a tea party.”

Soon other chapters started forming. By 2000, there was the younger women’s pink hat faction. In 2008, PBS aired the documentary The Remarkable Red Hat Society. Now there are over 40,000 chapters in the United States and 30 other countries – all with a simple mission to promote female bonding and celebrating aging.

“We organically began to meet and play in full regalia, embracing our lives and where we were within them, shouting back at the stigma on mature women in society with a mighty Red Hat roar,” proclaims the Red Hat website, redhatsociety.com.

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